Life's puzzle pieces

The Missing Pieces

Life can feel like a puzzle at times. There have been seasons in my life where I wondered if the missing pieces would ever be found. I couldn’t see how the pieces were going to fit together, or how anything beautiful could come out of the chaos I was looking at.

Pieces of my childhood.

Pieces of my broken heart from adultery and divorce.

Pieces of me as a single mother without the support of their fathers.

Pieces of my heart from broken promises of “I do.”

Pieces of my inheritance that were stolen.

Pieces that seemed lost forever.

But God—He is the Master Puzzle Maker. He knows where every piece belongs, and He has a way of taking what looks shattered and fitting it perfectly back together. When He finishes His work, the picture you once saw in your heart will be even better than the one you imagined.

The power of His Spirit through the prophetic and faith has the ability to restore what was once broken, align what was once out of order, and reveal the masterpiece that’s been forming behind the scenes all along.

Lately, I’ve been asking God to help me step into the next chapter of my life. There’s something sacred about surrendering your timeline and saying, “Lord, I trust You with every piece I love and desire.” Before I attended a small prophetic gathering, I asked God for clarity in three specific areas — areas I considered missing pieces in that season.

Just like God always sent prophets to speak to kings in the Bible, the prophetic in my life has always brought clarity, comfort, and confirmation. It’s through the prophetic that God has often shown me the bigger picture when all I could see were scattered fragments.

God wants to show you the big picture, too — but it will require obedience. It will require humility to honor the prophetic instructions He gives, even when they challenge your comfort zone. In March of 2021, during that gathering, the Lord spoke directly to all three areas I had asked Him about — and more. The clarity that came was undeniable.

Sometimes, what’s holding us back from walking into the next chapter is that we refuse to release what He’s already said is over. Maybe you’re holding on to something that once made sense but is now keeping you from your promise. Maybe you’ve resisted moving, changing, or letting go because the next puzzle piece doesn’t look like what you expected.

Can God trust you with new instructions without you rejecting them because they’re different from your plan? That’s where faith and surrender meet.

Within weeks of that prophetic word, God began to reveal new pieces — and simultaneously, He removed something old that had lingered far too long. It was nothing short of miraculous. I watched as He shifted things that had been stagnant for years.

And just when I thought the picture was complete, God spoke again. I was told I would not always live in Illinois — that my covenant roots would not be here. He said my next roots would be deep, stable, and fruitful. That word hit me deeply, because I had just asked God if, when I married again, I would stay here. God knew I was ready for details.

Then came the final piece: I was told I was entering a new season of visitations and encounters with the Lord, and that He was making all things new. I have seen the beginning of that word unfolding right before my eyes — and I believe He’s about to do the same for you.

God is not done. He’s still putting your puzzle together. Don’t lose heart while He’s fitting the pieces in place. The image He’s creating will tell a story of redemption, beauty, and divine timing.

God's perspective: Life's playground

I wrote this poem on June 24, 2004 in the midst of a three year consecration and separation from from my late ex-husband. I was on my lunch break and went to eat alone at the park across the street from my job. I skipped lunch with my best friend that day. After lunch, I immediately wrote this poem. It’s time to come in from the playground…. God was letting me know how he sees us at times.

Jonnie and Susie are still in the air on their swings,

 Caught in between their childhood and the decisions of adult things,

 Who forgot to go get them?

Leslie and Timmy are on the seesaw,

 No one told them, if you steal that they would be breaking the law,

The law of gravity, because what goes up must come down,

Please tell them its time to leave the playground.

Samaria and Michael are playing in the sand,

Crying because the wind blew and the castle they built won’t stand,

But who forgot to tell them, you can’t build a house on the sand,

But who forgot to tell them, you need a strong foundation to understand,

That the sun doesn’t always shine and there will be rainy days,

Go tell them to come in from the playground, that childhood is only a phase.

Kimberly climbed up the slide and now is afraid to come down,

Who forgot to tell her, you don’t do drugs and get high,

Go tell her someone told her a lie,

 Because she’s afraid if she comes down, she’ll have to face the issues on the ground.

Vincent and Amber were hanging from the monkey bars and were afraid to go across,

But who forgot to tell them, if they try and fall that they can recover from the loss.

No one wanted to go first and be the boss,

Where are the leaders?

The interceders,

Please, tell them we need them to leave the playground now.

Todd found a beautiful toy in the park, jut after dark, that had been left all alone

 And Mark came by the way and claimed it as his own,

 Who forgot to tell them, they’re not children anymore----they are grown.

 And that Pamela’s not a toy, she’s real and that was not the deal,

 It was till death do them part.

 Please tell the girls to be responsible for themselves and not become toys,

 Because girls become women and men sometimes become boys,

Don’t forgot to take care of your things,

 And children, please, get off those swings,

 And the seasaw that takes you up and down,

 Please, come down from the slide, and face the issues that make you hide, stop playing on the merry go round,

 Please, please somebody tell the children to come in from the playground.

Present yourself

I remember a day when God told Elijah that it was time to present himself to Ahab. For three long years, Elijah had been hidden — tucked away by the hand of God, sustained by ravens and a widow’s oil. God will sometimes keep you hidden to protect you, to prepare you, and to refine your obedience before the unveiling. But there comes a moment when the Lord says, “Now, go present yourself.”

1 Kings 18:1 says,

“And it came to pass after many days that the word of the Lord came to Elijah, in the third year, saying, Go, present yourself to Ahab, and I will send rain upon the earth.”

Elijah’s obedience to simply show up was the key that unlocked heaven’s rain. The entire nation had been in famine because the heavens were shut — not by accident, but by the word of a prophet who obeyed God. And now, it was time to obey again.

There are seasons when you’ve been hidden for protection — misunderstood, overlooked, even forgotten. But don’t confuse being hidden with being done. God is preparing you for your reintroduction. Sometimes your next breakthrough doesn’t require a grand announcement or a social media post — it simply requires your presence.

You don’t have to have it all figured out. You don’t have to understand every detail of what comes next. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is get up, show up, and let God do the rest.

Romans 12:1 reminds us,

“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.”

Presenting yourself starts with you. Not the version of you that performs, not the one that hides behind pain or fear — but the real, surrendered, available you. The one who says, “Here I am, Lord.”

Elijah didn’t just walk into his next season carelessly. He girded up his loins. That means he prepared. He got rid of distractions and tightened his focus. For some of us, that means coming out of sin, cutting ties with what keeps us bound, and getting emotionally and spiritually ready for what’s ahead.

Elijah also did something powerful before the rain came — he poured out water on the altar. The very thing he needed most, he gave as an offering. And God responded by consuming it with fire.

What are you willing to pour out in this season? What are you holding onto that seems too precious to surrender — your body, your time, your trust, your tears, your control? Sometimes what feels like a waste to others is actually worship to God.

And when the rain finally came, Elijah ran — not away, but ahead. He outran the chariots of Ahab because the hand of the Lord was on him. When you present yourself, God will give you supernatural strength to run in places where others ride.

So what does “presenting yourself” look like today?

It looks like getting up and getting dressed when depression says stay in bed.

It looks like clocking into work on time with excellence when no one praises you.

It looks like being emotionally present for your spouse, your kids, and your calling.

It looks like finishing what you started — even when it’s hard.

God is ready to send rain — but He’s waiting on you to present yourself.

He’s not asking for perfection. He’s asking for presence.

Because when you show up, heaven will respond.

It wasn't a Threesome

Birthing the Dream of God

It was intimate and it was done in the secret place. It was no longer about the three of us. It wasn’t about if he said yes or not. God required me to be face down and on my knees. That was where He wanted me—fully surrendered. I was finally positioned. It was just between God and me.

It wasn’t a threesome, although God wanted us to do it together. He wanted a yes—not a partial yes, not a conditional one, but a surrendered yes. I had finally come into a place of complete surrender. My heart was open, my will broken, and I was ready to conceive the dream of God.

God has prophetic dreams for you and your generations. He had chosen to impregnate mine in the lining of my marriage. It was fertile ground—the place where He would do His greatest work. He had already planted the seeds: “You are a key factor in breaking this spirit of death and false religion. When you get to this place in Me, you will be a major voice. Whole families will come out of your loins. It is not an accident the family you were born into—you will bring them life because I am life.”

It was time to push. And though the pressure was great, it was measured. God allowed just enough to shape me but not destroy me. There were moments I thought I would die, but the truth was—I was being reborn.

God is not trying to kill you; He’s trying to get you out of the way. He’s forming His image inside of you. He’s teaching you how to respond the way He would respond. I could no longer say what I wanted to say or do what I wanted to do. I was carrying something holy—something bigger than me. I was giving birth to the dream of God.

Just like Mary, I was carrying the Word. The Word was becoming flesh in my life.

Psalm 126 says, “When the Lord turned again the captivity of Zion, we were like those who dream.”

My marriage was falling apart, yet God was still requiring me to honor Him, to stay on my face in prayer, and to intercede beyond what my eyes could see. It was one of the most painful seasons of my life. I was watching what I loved the most die, while God was requiring me to dream for better—for my family and for the generations that would come through me.

I was pushing past pain, rejection, fear, abuse, and destruction. I wanted everything God had promised me and my bloodline. Watching the enemy destroy marriages, steal souls through deception, and dismantle the wealth that God had ordained for my family broke my heart—and it brought me back to my knees.

You may not fully understand what you are birthing right now. You might be carrying your children, a marriage, your generations, or even a nation. Sometimes it feels like nothing is moving, or maybe it seems dead—but it’s not. God is working in you, shaping something that would be hard to believe if He told you all the details.

Seek Him for wisdom. Ask Him for understanding. God is inviting you into a deeper level of intimacy—a place where conception happens. It’s there, in the secret place, that you will conceive and give birth to His prophetic dreams.

Let Him turn your captivity so you can dream again.

Proverbs 24:3 – Through wisdom is a house built; and by understanding it is established.

Psalm 126:1 – When the Lord turned again the captivity of Zion, we were like them that dream.

2 Chronicles 20:20 – Believe in the Lord your God, so shall you be established; believe His prophets, so shall you prosper.

The giant drop

Face Your Fears and Rise Again

Facing your fears in life can be one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to overcome.

There we were, standing near this huge crowd of people. Excitement was everywhere—children laughing, families hurrying to get their place in line. My sixteen-year-old son, Jeremy, turned to me, placed his hands firmly on my shoulders, looked me straight in the eyes, and said, “I’ll be back. I’m going to face my fears!”

He was headed toward the Giant Drop—that ride that sends your heart plummeting before your body even follows. But in that moment, it wasn’t just about a ride. For me, as his mother, it was defining. I could see so much more than my boy about to conquer a thrill; I saw a man in the making—someone who, one day, would stand tall against whatever life brought his way.

And I was grateful. Because I knew, deep down, the only reason he could face his fears was because I had already faced mine.

It was one of the most vulnerable seasons of my life. God had opened my heart and begun doing spiritual open-heart surgery on me—cutting deep, healing old wounds from childhood I didn’t even realize still ached. I needed you then. I needed someone to carry me to the Father when my legs of faith felt too weak to walk.

My mother wasn’t there like yours was. I already had one child and was carrying another. And just when I needed steady hands the most, you started to pull away. It felt like I was hanging in the air—suspended, waiting to be dropped at any moment.

Maybe you’ve been there too.

Dropped by someone you depended on.

Dropped by your spouse.

Dropped by your parents at birth and placed for adoption.

Dropped by a job you gave twenty years of your life to.

Just… dropped.

And you didn’t know how you would land. You were terrified. Not just for yourself—but for the ones depending on you to stand strong. You wanted to yell, “Wait! Wait until I can get myself together so we both won’t fall!”

I know that feeling. That moment when your hopes are set so high, and suddenly, you’re staring down at what feels like a life-or-death fall.

In that moment, I remembered Mephibosheth.

“And Jonathan, Saul’s son, had a son that was lame of his feet. He was five years old when the news came of Saul and Jonathan’s death… and as his nurse fled, he fell and became lame.”

—2 Samuel 4:4

Maybe like Mephibosheth, you were trying to escape one kind of pain and ended up falling into another. Maybe while you were just trying to survive, you got hurt even more—falsely accused, betrayed, abandoned, or left financially crippled.

Whatever has left you feeling broken—mentally, emotionally, spiritually, or physically—God has not forgotten you. He knows exactly where you are.

So let’s ring Mephibosheth’s doorbell for a minute:

“And David said, Is there yet any that is left of the house of Saul, that I may show him kindness for Jonathan’s sake?”

—2 Samuel 9:1

When Mephibosheth was brought before David, he bowed low, unsure of what to expect. But David looked at him with compassion and said:

“Fear not: for I will surely show you kindness for Jonathan your father’s sake, and will restore to you all the land of Saul your father; and you shall eat bread at my table continually.”

—2 Samuel 9:7

That’s God’s word for you today.

No matter where you are or how far you’ve fallen, He’s sending for you. You’re not forgotten. He knows where you live, He knows how to restore what was lost, and He’s ready to seat you at His table again.

Just like Mephibosheth, you will walk again. You will run again. You will rise and not faint.

Step up to the plate!

Because you decided to step up to the plate were the words that fell on me like dew from the mouth of C. Peters Wagner’s head intercessor in 2000. This was not just a prophetic word it was an encounter with God.  We were at a deliverance conference and we were on break.  The hospitality suite was packed. I was in a corner with my back turned and talking. I felt a tap on my shoulder and a holy hush came over our table, only. He said, I was in prayer downstairs and the Lord told me to come up here and to minister to someone. He said I had no idea who it was. Talking about being on the radar of heaven!!!

 He knows exactly where you are!!!

 He went on to tell me that he had to pray for me. He told me that God said many of his people do not experience worship with him on the level that I do.  He said God was going to give me a platform and a voice to be heard because I decided to step up to the plate and he was going to put me back where I should have been.  He went on to share much more but my point is this: God promised to give me a platform and a voice to be heard.

I want to encourage you today, if the enemy is trying to make you believe that God has forgotten you; it is not true.  The word says, in Isaiah 49:13 Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me.  He could never forget us. Sometimes we think we are waiting on him but the Father wants us to know that he is waiting for us—to step up to the plate.

Stepping up to plate means you are ready to take on a challenge or a responsibility. Our assignments come with great responsibility.  He is preparing us to run our own race.  Maybe you are saying these things to yourself.  I feel like I don’t know anyone.  I was not born into a wealthy family.  I don’t have a college education.  The bible calls the apostles were unlearned men. They turned the world upside down with the power of God.  Get in the secret place and humble yourself.

Step up to the plate like Moses did to Pharaoh and let God go before you.

Step up to the plate like David did with Goliath.

Step up to the plate like Deborah did.

Step up to the plate like Esther did.

 You are NOT waiting on God.  He is waiting on you.  God has been waiting for all eternity for this moment.  It is time for you to step up to the plate.  His grace will bring you in safely.

 Batters up! Heaven is calling your name…….

You are not a mistake!

I wrote this poem and want to dedicate it to every man and woman that was ever a result of an unplanned pregnancy.  Whether you were the child, the man or the woman that is facing an unplanned pregnancy.  God wants you to know that you were not a mistake and nor is the child that has been created from an unplanned pregnancy. From my heart to yours…….

I am the child that has been called a mistake,

One that was born out a torn and broken relationship.

One that was birthed but aborted from the cares of life,

That ripped at her heart because of her struggle to be a mother and not yet a wife,

One that was conceived out of rape or molestation.

A child labeled a mistake-nurtured by the hand of devastation.

But then he came to restore and to heal,

Then to reveal,

That he too knew what it was like to be conceived

Out of mistrust and disbelief,

Born by the virgin Mary

A man forsaken and stricken with grief,

That we might understand

His love and perfect plan, that before he created the earth,

He also knew the day of your birth,

Before the stars had been sprinkled into the sky,

Before the planets were hung and set into space,

Before the waters covered the deep,

 Before your father and mother came face to face,

You were conceived in his mind,

And delivered at the right time,

NOT A MISTAKE

But a daybreak

With every member of your body recorded in his book

Before they were formed

With every hair numbered on your head,

For he even knew the way you would look,

And yet to say you are a mistake

Is to imply that God was confused.

For when he made you, he made you in his image

To be valued and NOT ABUSED!!!!

May the love of God invade your life as you press pass every obstacle that would make you question your existence. May your heart be turned to the one that created you.

Psalms 139

For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.

Getting through the POOP!

Get Through the Poop!”

Many years ago, I watched The Shawshank Redemption, and although it wasn’t a true story, there was something deeply spiritual about it. As I reflect on my own life, I can’t help but think about Andy — the man who used a small rock hammer to dig his way out of prison after serving nineteen years for a crime he didn’t commit.

But it didn’t stop there.

See, Andy didn’t just break through the wall — he had to crawl through 500 yards of poop to get to his freedom.

That hit me.

Life is not always fair. But if we take what we have — even if it’s small — and stay consistent, we can dig our way out. Andy got up every day, repeated the same routine, and kept digging when it looked impossible. He didn’t know what day would be his last in that cell, but he kept at it.

Maybe you’re there right now.

Maybe you’re digging your way out of debt.

Maybe your business failed because of someone else’s mismanagement.

Maybe you’ve given your all to your children, and now they’ve had to move back home.

Maybe you’re starting over from nothing after someone else’s bad choices left you empty.

Maybe every day feels like another dig through disappointment.

But like Andy — you’ve got to get through the poop.

King David was already anointed king, yet he was hiding in caves, dodging Saul’s javelins, and running from 3,000 soldiers who wanted him dead. That’s some poop! But even there, God was with him.

You may feel like you’re crawling through the mess of your life, but God says, keep digging. He’s with you in the crawl space. He’s with you in the dark tunnel. He’s with you while you’re paying off debt one dollar at a time or rebuilding your credit one point at a time.

Be faithful over the little rock hammer God placed in your hand.

I remember my own “Shawshank” season. I was coming out of a bad financial situation after my divorce. I wanted to buy property, but I had a Saturn Vue SUV — the worst decision ever, though not really my fault. Those cars had faulty transmissions. GM knew it, dropped the line, and filed bankruptcy before we could file for redemption.

I’ll never forget — I was driving one day when my transmission gave out in the middle of the road with an 18-wheeler behind me. God’s hand spared my life. Others had died or become paralyzed from those same faulty transmissions. But I was still here.

That was poop.

The Lakin Law Firm later stated that GM knew about the defects but didn’t fix them. We never received a dime in compensation. Meanwhile, I still owed on the car note — and after my third transmission replacement, I was done.

But I also knew if I let them repossess it, it would ruin my credit — and that would delay my dream of owning property. So I prayed and decided to keep digging.

I called the finance company and offered half of what I owed — about $5,000 — and they marked it “paid in full.” My loan officer later told me that in twenty-seven years, he had never seen anyone get that kind of favor.

God gave me mercy in the middle of the mess.

I crawled through the poop — and came out with my credit intact, my faith stronger, and my freedom on the other side.

So today, I’m telling you — face your fears, start over if you have to, and don’t quit now. Freedom is waiting on the other side of what you’re willing to crawl through.

Keep digging. Keep believing. Keep moving.

Because even if it’s messy — God can still bring you out clean.

Remember me

Sometimes we do things that we know we should not do without counting the cost of our actions.  I know I have.  In 2016, I left the Lord in several ways.  I am still digging myself out of holes six years later of the decisions I made.  Yes, God forgave me but there are consequences to our sin.  God wants you to also know he has forgiven you.  I found myself like Peter.  I never ever thought I would do what I did but I did. Jesus told Peter he would betray him three times and Peter denied it, but the Lord knew him better than he knew himself.

Maybe the cares of this life brought you to a place of compromise and you did somethings you never thought you would.  Many people took money from funds that they should not have during this pandemic.  Some worked and took unemployment benefits.  Some participated in the looting in the city. Desperation made people do things in this last season just to survive.  Peter found himself suddenly shifted into survival mode and he did just what Jesus told him he would. 

Nothing you have ever done has surprised Jesus.  This last season was to show you what was inside of you, the good, bad and the ugly.  But Jesus told Peter in

Luke 22:32 “But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail.  And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.”

God wants you to know he has prayed for you like he did for Peter. For some, you have been in a season of restoration.  You found yourself like Samson that thought, I’ll just shake myself like I did before but in this last season, you felt like God left you.  God wants you to know just like he allowed Samson’s hair to grow back and his strength returned that he is restoring you. He wants you to know he is with you.   Forgive yourself just like Peter and Samson had to do.  Just like I had to do. You may be saying like Samson did, Lord remember me and avenge me for my two eyes. Samson caused his own suffering.  He kept playing with the enemies, he was called to destroy.  But God, in his great love, grace and mercy forgave Samson.  He answered Samson’s prayer and he allowed him to destroy more Philistines in his death than he did in his life.  God is going to allow you to do more damage to the enemies’ kingdom than you ever would have now because you were wounded. He is about to avenge you.

And for some, you are now ready and are being commissioned to turn around and to begin to share your testimony and strengthen your brothers and sisters. God is opening opportunities.  Its time to release that book.  It’s time to do the things you have wanted to do for a long time, but you weren’t ready. God loves you and because you have repented and turned back, he is holding nothing against you. God says, you are ready now because he heard you when you asked him to remember you.

Falsely Accused but Not Forgotten

My children’s father was a Vietnam veteran—a man of quiet strength and deep reflection. He didn’t talk much about his time in the war, but there was one story he shared that I’ll never forget.

He entered Vietnam barely a month after his 18th birthday. Young, uncertain, and thousands of miles from home, he stepped off that plane onto foreign soil with no idea what awaited him. On his very first day, before he could even grasp where he was, he was falsely accused of killing a man. He was one of only two Black men on the island—and because of that alone, he was immediately identified as the killer.

Without evidence, without explanation, he was thrown into solitary confinement for 30 long days. Thirty days of silence. Thirty days of fear. Thirty days of wondering if anyone would ever believe him—or if he’d even make it home alive.

As if the trauma of being drafted wasn’t enough, now he faced the terror of being falsely accused, alone and unseen, on an island with no one who knew his name or his story.

When I think about that, I can’t help but think of Joseph in Genesis 40. Joseph was also falsely accused and thrown into prison. While in confinement, he met the Pharaoh’s cupbearer and baker, both tormented by dreams they didn’t understand. Joseph, though unjustly imprisoned, still had enough wisdom and connection with God to interpret their dreams. He asked the cupbearer, “When you’re restored, remember me.” But the scripture says plainly—the cupbearer forgot him.

Two years passed before that cupbearer remembered. Two years before Joseph was brought out. But here’s the truth: Joseph wasn’t forgotten by God. Neither was my children’s father.

After those 30 days, something miraculous happened. The other Black soldier—the real culprit—came forward in secret and told him what really happened. “I bit the man and killed him” he admitted. My children’s father, instead of reacting in anger, used wisdom. He requested to see the Priest and told him what he’d learned. He asked them to examine the body and compare the bite mark to the soldier’s teeth.

And just like that, the truth came out. The evidence spoke. He was set free.

And so was Joseph.

The same God who delivered Joseph, the same God who cleared my children’s father’s name, is the same God who will deliver you.

Maybe you’re not locked behind bars, but you’ve been bound by something—a false label, a financial burden, a broken relationship, or emotional pain that has left you trapped. Maybe you’ve been waiting for someone to “remember” you, wondering if God has overlooked your suffering.

Hear me: you’ve been forgotten by people, but never forsaken by God.

Your release is coming. The key is wisdom. Seek God for it. Ask Him for insight, even in your pain. What Joseph and my children’s father both understood was this—when you can’t control what’s happening around you, you can still control how you respond and who you turn to.

God sees what no one else can. He knows the details that will unlock your freedom.

So hold on. The same God who cleared their names is working behind the scenes to clear yours too. It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t fair. But it will be redeemed.

Your release is on schedule. Heaven already clocked it.

Don't be an Orpah

Ruth 2

And Ruth the Moabitess said unto Naomi, Let me now go to the field, and glean ears of corn after him in whose sight I shall find grace. And she said unto her, Go, my daughter.

3 And she went, and came, and gleaned in the field after the reapers: and her hap was to light on a part of the field belonging unto Boaz, who was of the kindred of Elimelech.

My prayer for the body of Christ, is that we would be found faithful sowing in the field of life and hearts and souls of men and women we are called too, even if it may appear there in no reward. Also, that we might understand our last season was to lead us into our field of harvest and increase. Lord don't let us turn back like Orpah and miss our appointed field, because the circumstances that led us there were contrary to how we thought the story would end. The kingdom of God is not like the world. The world says if you bless me, I'll bless you. Christ kingdom principles are if you sow where God says sow, you will reap where you have not sown.

Don’t be an Orpah, be a Ruth and sow where God leads you. God will repay you in ways that are bigger than you have ever thought of or even imagined.

10 Then she fell on her face, and bowed herself to the ground, and said unto him, Why have I found grace in thine eyes, that thou shouldest take knowledge of me, seeing I am a stranger?

11 And Boaz answered and said unto her, It hath fully been shewed me, all that thou hast done unto thy mother- in -law since the death of thine husband: and how thou hast left thy father and thy mother, and the land of thy nativity, and art come unto a people which thou knewest not heretofore.

12 The Lord recompense thy work, and a full reward be given thee of the Lord God of Israel, under whose wings thou art come to trust.

Here we see Boaz as a type of Christ and the reapers as the angels. Jesus is taking knowledge as Boaz did of us and releasing his angels in this season to leave some things for us on purpose.

We will receive a full reward from the Lord God of Israel.

Guarding the Uncommon: When Familiarity Breeds Dishonor

God told me years ago, “Don’t be so common with yourself that you forget how uncommon you are.” That word has been echoing in my spirit again lately. One of the greatest challenges I’ve faced in this last season is being treated like I was common — like what I carried didn’t matter. Yet even while being mishandled and misunderstood, I never forgot who I was. I never forgot whose I was.

The Bible says, “Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies” (Proverbs 31:10). That means she’s rare — not easily found, not easily duplicated, and not meant to be treated casually. When something is uncommon, it demands honor. Even Jesus Himself could do no mighty works in His own hometown because of familiarity. They knew Him as “the carpenter’s son” and missed the Christ within Him. Familiarity blinds people to greatness when it’s standing right in front of them.

But I’ve learned this — being undervalued doesn’t change your value. I know God is sending me a husband who won’t just see my potential but will recognize the work of God within me. A man who is financially stable, yes, but also spiritually mature enough to see that my worth is not measured by what’s in my bank account, but by the investment of heaven in my life.

When we overcome adversity, heaven celebrates our victory. The Word says, “There is rejoicing in heaven when one sinner repents.” (Luke 15:10). So imagine how heaven must celebrate when one son or daughter matures — when we grow up in God and start walking in the identity He’s been trying to reveal to us all along.

Romans 8:19 says, “The whole earth is groaning, waiting for the manifestation of the sons of God.” As a mother who has birthed four children, I know what that groaning feels like. The closer you get to the birthing, the stronger the pressure, the more intense the contractions, and the greater the anticipation of new life. Heaven groans the same way when you’re about to manifest the next version of who God created you to be. You are not breaking down — you are breaking through.

I’m so grateful. I wept this morning in deep honor to the Lord for giving me grace to grow up in Him. That’s a cry of gratitude only maturity can bring — when you realize that every rejection, every test, every moment of being overlooked was God’s training ground to make you strong, not bitter; wise, not wounded.

But as God sends us out, we must remember — we are foreigners and ambassadors of Christ, here on assignment. That means we can’t afford to let rejection, lack of followers, or moments of invisibility make us question our divine worth. Familiarity may try to make you shrink. People may try to make you common. But heaven sees you as chosen.

When the children of Israel stood on the edge of promise, they saw the land — but they also saw giants. They saw themselves as grasshoppers, and the Bible says, “and so did the people see them” (Numbers 13:33). How you see yourself determines how others see you. That’s why God is healing your self-image before He expands your influence. He’s enlarging your spirit before He enlarges your territory.

Joshua and Caleb looked at the same land but saw something different. Numbers 14:24 says, “But because My servant Caleb had a different spirit and followed Me fully, I will bring him into the land.” If you want to enter your promised place, you must think differently. Guard your heart from the spirit of familiarity — both in others and in yourself. Stop treating what God placed inside you like it’s ordinary.

You are not common. You are not replaceable. You are a divine original — handpicked, set apart, and heaven-approved.

Start over

Starting over is not easy. In the midst of COVID, the world will never be the same as we knew it. It doesn’t matter if you have to go back to school to advance your career. That means your skill set has to be upgraded. That means you may have to invest in yourself and start over with a new business to advance and establish yourself again. You and your spouse may have lost that much anticipated baby again to a miscarriage and are going thru IVF treatments. Don’t be afraid to start over.

God will give you grace to come to your expected end. He told us in Jeremiah 29:11, For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

He has come to give us hope for our future. He wants you to dream again. To trust him again. To start over again. I am reminded of how Peter had toiled all night and didn’t catch any fish but Jesus told him to launch back out into the deep. Luke 5:4. Peter responded at his word and obeyed. He could have moved in fear and didn’t want to start over. But he didn’t.

Start over.

God is with you. He will give you your expected harvest. It doesn’t matter that you got rejected for that last home you tried to purchase. It doesn’t matter if you worked for that company all those years and was let go and now you have to start over at a new job. Start over. I remember in 2008, God began to tell me to go back to school to get my Masters degree. It took me two years to obey. I didn’t want to start over but my career was pivoting. I am so grateful to this day, I obeyed.

Another time, I had to start over was to be a mother again. I always wanted a daughter but gave up on the idea at 35 years old and was no longer married. I absolutely didn’t want to start over. During a season in my life of great turmoil, I left the Lord. I became pregnant and got pregnant with my daughter. I didn’t know if I was going to have a girl. All I knew was how hard it was being a single mother. How he didn’t help me raise our other son. I thought about all the things I struggled with the boys growing up and how would I manage now I was older. I thought about all the years I labored in prayer and how much I wanted to help other mothers so that they would never abort their children. I knew I had to start over. I am so grateful, I trusted God for the grace to start over.

Get ready, Grace is coming upon you now, God is going to give you the grace to start over. This time you are not starting from scratch.

No matter, what you are facing, God’s grace is sufficient.

Suicide is NOT the answer

“When I Didn’t Want to Live: How God’s Love Pulled Me Back from the Edge”

I remember the day I believed the lie that there was nothing special about me. Maybe you’ve believed that too—or you know someone who has. As a young girl, I often looked in the mirror and saw just another light-skinned, long brown-haired girl. I didn’t see purpose. I didn’t see value. I didn’t understand that my uniqueness, like yours, would never be reflected from the outside. It was always buried in something much deeper—something only God could reveal.

My golden birthday—turning 13 on the 13th—was approaching, and instead of excitement, I felt an urgency to end my life on the day I was born. Why on my birthday? Because I thought I was a mistake. I thought my existence was accidental—born into a family that was struggling, broken, and unsure how to love me properly.

But what about the ones who seem to have it all together? Why do they feel suicidal too? Suicide is not just an emotion—it’s a spirit, a dark lie from the enemy that tries to convince us that our lives have no meaning. God is the giver of life. And the truth is, many who struggle with suicidal thoughts are battling comparison—believing their impact or worth doesn’t measure up.

When the world mourned Cheslie Kryst’s death, I was shaken. She was 30 years old—beautiful, accomplished, crowned Miss USA in 2019. From the outside, she looked like the picture of confidence and success. But somewhere on the inside, she couldn’t see the same value that God saw in her. Like me, she battled the invisible war of self-worth.

God loved Cheslie. And He loves you.

We spend so much of our lives seeking validation—from parents, partners, friends, careers, and followers—yet until we receive love from the Source of love Himself, we will always feel empty.

For me, it was my husband’s approval I was chasing. When he rejected me, it echoed the same lie I heard as a child: “You are a mistake.” That’s how childhood trauma works—it whispers familiar pain through adult experiences until we confront it with truth.

God’s word says, “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you.” (Jeremiah 1:5)

That means He thought of you before anyone else did. He dreamed of you. He designed you. You are not a mistake.

Jesus loved us so much that He chose to leave heaven for us. He didn’t want eternity without us. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son…” (John 3:16). But it wasn’t just the Father’s choice—Jesus willingly laid down His life because there is no greater love than this.

I escaped suicide at 13, but that same spirit came for me again at 30. I was married then, trying to prove my love to my late ex-husband, desperate to be seen. When his rejection broke me, I remember saying to God, “I don’t want to live without him.”

And I’ll never forget what God whispered back through that moment. My husband turned to me one day and said, “Do you love yourself?” I froze. Because the truth was—I didn’t.

Suicide is self-hatred. But in that moment, I fell to my knees and told God, “I don’t love me, but I’ll let You love me.” That was the beginning of my healing.

The Bible says, “We love Him because He first loved us.” (1 John 4:19)

When I finally received God’s love, I began to love myself. I overcame the spirit of suicide because I realized—I am deeply loved.

Friend, suicide is NOT the answer.

Jesus IS.

He is ready to reveal His love to you. Don’t give up on yourself. You are not a mistake. You are a miracle in progress.

Tell me "Why"

When I was a little girl, my mother used to read a book to my siblings and me called Tell Me Why. I loved that book. It answered questions about how things worked, why they existed, and what purpose they served. Looking back, I realize that book planted a seed in me—the desire to understand why. Why things happen. Why people are called. Why purpose sometimes comes wrapped in pain.

As I grew older, I wrestled with my own “why.” You know the ones—Why me? Why them? Why this? Why now?

The dictionary says why means cause, purpose, or reason. But when life happens, that definition doesn’t always make the pain or confusion easier to carry.

When I first started walking with the Lord, I struggled deeply with my “why.” God gave me prophetic words about being raised up in my family as a vessel for salvation and deliverance. But I didn’t understand how. Honestly, I didn’t even feel connected to my family in that way. I couldn’t see myself doing what He said I would do. Have you ever been there—where the calling on your life felt bigger than your understanding?

Maybe you already know what God has called you to do, but you’re still waiting for the why. You know there’s purpose, but you can’t yet see the full picture. That’s where understanding becomes your bridge.

The Word says in Proverbs 24:3-4 (NKJV):

“Through wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established.

By knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches.”

God isn’t just building you—He’s establishing you. And one of the ways He does that is by giving you understanding. Understanding is the answer to your why.

For a long time, my bloodline battles were heavy. I carried shame connected to my last name. I didn’t even like to tell people what it was because of the history and the negative connotations tied to it. I thought my name represented failure, struggle, and brokenness.

But in my journey of healing and maturity, I began to see that everything I came through was part of God’s redemptive story. Every battle, every tear, every misunderstanding was shaping me into a testimony of His grace. What once felt like a curse became proof of the cross working in my life.

Now, I can boldly say my name—Muhammad—without shame, because it no longer defines me. It’s just part of the story that reveals who God is and what He can redeem. I am no longer a slave to my history; I am a daughter of the Most High God, justified by the blood of Christ and heir to His promises.

It was through my battles—and more importantly, through my victories—that God revealed my why. He trusted me with the assignment, even when I didn’t trust myself. Just like Peter, who denied Christ yet was still chosen to feed His sheep, God knows exactly why He called you.

If you’re in a season where your “why” feels hidden, don’t give up. Keep seeking Him in the midst of your questions. Because when the time is right, God will tell you why.

Your “why” isn’t just your story—it’s your anchor. It holds you steady when the storms come and reminds you that nothing in your life has been wasted. Every part of your journey has purpose. Every scar has a testimony.

God wants to tell you why.

Move On

MOVE FORWARD: God Is in the Details

During my recent move from Chicago, I went to purchase new furniture. Nothing about the day seemed unusual—until it did.

As I walked through the store, I noticed the manager watching me closely. He was quietly changing price tags, unaware that I had seen him. My salesman, who was helping me, began taking photos of each tag on his iPad and checking the inventory on another desktop. I thought nothing of it at first. We continued shopping—room after room, set after set—until it was time to pay.

That’s when everything changed.

Every single price had gone up.

The salesman called the manager over. “We need your code to unlock the prices so I can ring her up,” he said. The manager quickly replied, “Oh no, come over here—I can show you the tags.” But the salesman stood firm. “We don’t need to go anywhere. I have all the tags right here on my iPad.”

I watched as the tension rose between them. The manager reluctantly entered his code, clearly upset that his attempt to overcharge had failed. I paid for my furniture and left the store.

Later that evening, my phone rang. It was the store manager. He said, “I made a mistake. I can’t sell you the dining room set.” I calmly replied, “You did sell it to me, and I expect it to be delivered as planned.” He told me he’d call back the next morning to find something else. I assured him, “There’s nothing else in your store that compares. I’ll wait for your call.”

That night, I prayed.

I said, “Jesus, as I rest, let Your peace settle this situation. Let his heart be softened, and let there be no further discussion and let him apologize to me tomorrow.”

The next day, I missed his call—but when I listened to the voicemail, I heard humility in his voice. He apologized sincerely and said the dining set would be delivered with the rest of my furniture as promised.

And I couldn’t help but think about Pharaoh.

When Pharaoh finally let the children of Israel go, Scripture says he changed his mind and came after them. (Exodus 14) Just like Pharaoh, some situations seem resolved—until suddenly they turn again. You may have been given a yes, only to have that “yes” challenged. You may have signed the contract, received the promise, or seen the door open—only for things to shift.

But hear me: God is still in control.

He knows how to deal with hardened hearts.

Whether it’s a furniture sale or a life-altering decision, God is in the details of your situation. He is routing your steps and even orchestrating your opposition so that His glory will be revealed.

Maybe right now you’re standing before your own Red Sea. You can’t go back, but going forward seems impossible. Yet the Lord told Moses in Exodus 14:15-16:

“Why are you crying out to Me? Tell the Israelites to move on. Raise your staff and stretch out your hand over the sea to divide the water so that the Israelites can go through on dry ground.”

God said, Stop crying and move on.

This isn’t the time to retreat—it’s time to advance.

He didn’t do it the way you expected because He wants to show your enemies—and you—that He alone is God. When He brings you through, no one will be able to take credit for it.

So, if you’re facing a Red Sea moment—MOVE FORWARD.

God is about to gain glory through your situation.

And like the children of Israel, you will see your enemies no more.

Caught Between a Rock and a Hard Place: Making Decisions with Discernment

Aron Ralston embarked upon a new adventure with the expectation that greatness would greet him on the emerging horizon of his ambition. However, he failed to realize the grave cost of his newfound goal. Caught between a rock and a hard place without acknowledging God can become costly, and he learned this the hard way.

Corporate America wasn't for Ralston, and he decided to quit his job to devote more time to mountaineering. He wanted to climb Denali, the highest mountain peak in North America. But before attempting that, he wanted to do something that had never been done before: He wanted to climb Colorado's 14ers—all 58 of them—by himself, in the winter, before climbing Denali. Ralston's new path would forever change the course of his life.

Have you made major life decisions you thought were best for you, yet you ended up with a totally different reality? Maybe you also quit your corporate job—or maybe you lost it—and decided to invest everything into your dream of becoming an entrepreneur. Or maybe you got that divorce and remarried, but now you realize your first marriage wasn't as bad as you thought. Now, you're dealing with the residue of your past marriage and its toll on your children, while also facing the reality of your new marriage and its real challenges.

In either of these situations, you might feel caught between a rock and a hard place. Neither place is comfortable, and in these places, you face life-changing decisions that will affect the rest of your life and the lives of others. Ralston, determined to achieve his incredible endeavor, set forth without sharing his location with others; he wanted to accomplish this goal without any help from others. On his high climb to success, an 800-pound boulder trapped the mountaineering man. Ralston was stuck ... and alone. Maybe, just as Ralston failed to consult with others about his plans, you've neglected to consult God about your ambitions—and now you feel trapped and desolate.

Are you in a situation where you are wondering if you can ever recover? Desperate measures call for desperate decisions. Ralston thought he was going to die there, but he had a dream. Just like Ralston, God has given you a dream, and He wants you to know you are not going to die in this place. It is hard, but He is with you. Ralston had to drink his own urine and sever his own arm to survive. The cost for his ambitious adventure without consulting others indeed bore a grave cost. This doesn't have to be your story, though.

God wants you to acknowledge Him and seek His wisdom in your decisions, and if you will take the necessary steps like Ralston did—even if they are just as drastic—God will bring you to your expected end.

Facing your fears

“Facing Your Fears”

Facing your fears in life can be one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to overcome.

I remember standing in a long line one sunny day surrounded by laughter and excitement. The smell of popcorn filled the air, children were squealing with joy, and families were rushing to get a good spot. At that time, my 16-year-old son, Jeremy, turned to me, placed both hands on my shoulders, looked me in the eyes, and said, “I’ll be back, Mom. I’m going to face my fears!”

He walked off toward the Giant Drop — one of those towering roller coasters that snatches your breath and drops your stomach at lightning speed.

In that moment, I didn’t just see my son facing a thrill ride. I saw his future. I saw a man who would face life’s mountains with courage because he’d learned that fear doesn’t have the final say. And deep in my heart, I knew that because I had faced my fears, he would learn to face his, too.

At that time in my life, I was in my own “giant drop” season. I was searching for anyone who could understand what I was walking through — the pain, the uncertainty, the moments of silence where faith had to whisper louder than fear.

That’s when I thought about Mephibosheth.

In 2 Samuel 4:4, the Word says:

“Jonathan, Saul’s son, had a son that was lame in his feet. He was five years old when the tidings came of Saul and Jonathan out of Jezreel, and his nurse took him up and fled. And it came to pass, as she made haste to flee, that he fell, and became lame. And his name was Mephibosheth.”

Mephibosheth didn’t do anything wrong. He was dropped while someone else was trying to protect him. Some of us can relate to that — being hurt by those who were supposed to help us.

Maybe while you were running from one storm, another one hit. Maybe in trying to protect yourself, you still got wounded. Maybe you’ve been dropped in life — by people, by circumstances, by broken promises.

But God has not forgotten you.

In 2 Samuel 9, King David asked, “Is there anyone left of the house of Saul, that I may show him kindness for Jonathan’s sake?”

That verse alone gives me hope. Because David’s heart mirrored the heart of God — always searching for the forgotten, the broken, and the dropped.

When Mephibosheth came before David, he fell on his face in fear, thinking judgment was coming. But instead, David said, “Fear not: for I will surely show thee kindness for Jonathan thy father’s sake, and will restore thee all the land of Saul thy father; and thou shalt eat bread at my table continually.”

Mephibosheth went from being crippled and hiding in Lodabar — the place of no pasture, no provision, no promise — to sitting at the king’s table, restored and redeemed.

God is saying the same thing to you today: Fear not.

No matter what’s crippled you — mentally, emotionally, financially, or spiritually — the King remembers your name. He knows exactly where you are, and He’s coming to restore what was lost.

The very thing that once disqualified you will become the platform God uses to bless you. What once hurt you will now help you. The same lineage that caused Mephibosheth to fall became the reason David sought him out to bless him.

God is turning the tides.

So face your fears. Stand tall even if your legs still tremble. The King has already prepared your seat at the table — and your invitation says restored, redeemed, remembered.

Don't Choke

Don’t Choke on the Pill Life Is Shoving Down Your Throat

For some people, swallowing a pill comes naturally. For others, they choke. That’s exactly how I felt when I heard the words, “You are a mistake.” Four words from my husband that echoed a lifetime of pain from my childhood. My mother had once said them to me too, and suddenly, old wounds of abandonment I thought were healing resurfaced.

There I was, in a season where God was mending the deepest cracks of my heart, healing the pain of rejection, delivering me from the chains of my past. And yet, at the same time, my husband’s words became a cork, trapping me in a well of brokenness so deep that I began to agree with the enemy: I should not be here. I was choking—choking on life, choking on the pill that life was shoving down my throat.

This was not the way it was supposed to be.

Maybe you know the feeling. Maybe this past year—especially during the chaos of COVID-19—you’ve felt the same way I did. Maybe at times, you’ve felt like Naomi. Let’s not forget her story.

In Ruth 1:21, Naomi says:

“I went out full, and the LORD hath brought me home again empty: why then call ye me Naomi, seeing the LORD hath testified against me, and the Almighty hath afflicted me?”

Naomi’s name means “pleasant,” and her life once reflected that. She was married, had two sons, and family was central to her life—not just because she loved them, but because her inheritance and prosperity were intertwined with their well-being. But then tragedy struck, and she demanded to be called Mara, meaning “bitter.”

Life had shoved a pill down her throat too. The famine, the loss of her husband and sons, the emptiness of her home—she choked under it all. She could not have anticipated this season of suffering. Maybe you can relate. Maybe before COVID-19, you and your family felt secure. You had stability, hope, a future. And then—just like Naomi—you experienced loss: a loved one, a job, a dream, a sense of normalcy. Life isn’t what it used to be, and the weight of it is hard to swallow.

But here’s the truth: don’t choke. Don’t allow the circumstances around you to dictate your final outcome. Naomi thought she had nothing left, but her wisdom became priceless. Because Ruth listened, she and her daughter-in-law reconnected to God’s blessings. Ruth’s union with Boaz not only restored their lives but also positioned them in the lineage of Jesus.

What looks like emptiness today is not your final story. God can take your pain, your rejection, your heartbreak, and turn it into a testimony of restoration. Trust Him like I did. Trust Him like Naomi did. Allow God to heal your brokenness. Don’t let the pill life is shoving down your throat choke you.

Stay connected. Stay faithful. Keep walking even when it hurts. Your breakthrough is closer than you think, and your obedience now will shape the blessings of generations to come.

Happy Valentines Day: Loves first Kiss

 Loves first Kiss

Genesis 29:11 Then Jacob kissed Rachel and began to weep aloud.

Wait a minute……….

The brother broke down just from a kiss.

A kiss….

How many of us as women, would love to be able to capture the heart of our mates the way Rachel did with just one kiss? I’m often fascinated by Jacob and Rachel’s love story. He was not only willing to wait but he was willing to labor. It cost Jacob something to endure to get Rachel. Even after his father-in-law tricked him he did not give up.

Don’t give up!!!

Don’t give up on love even though you may have felt like you were tricked and ended up in a bad situation.

Maybe you married the wrong one at first and it ended in divorce.

Maybe you were lied to and were engaged and let your guards down and ended up pregnant and he doesn’t want to marry you now.

Don’t give up!!!

Maybe you are still married and it wasn’t what you thought it would be.

Don’t give up!!!

Laban didn’t just trick him and he got the wrong wife but he made him work another whole seven years. He had to labor twice as hard to get his heart’s desire. So many don’t want to put in the work.

Are you willing to pay the price to get your heart’s desire?

Laban changed his wages ten times deceitfully!!! Come on!!! This is a lot of drama. Some men would have packed up and left! From my own limited experience, I’ve seen men walk away for much less than this and yet Jacob preserved. He loved Rachel. He discerned her worth despite the foolery.

Will you be able to look beyond the pain of the price it may cost you or has cost you to labor for the love of your life? I choose to believe that Jacob and Rachel are not the only ones that can find true love.

Your loves first kiss awaits you. It will be worth it!

I still believe in happily ever after…….