Tempted to Take Revenge
It was so difficult sleeping next to my now late ex- my husband that I couldn’t even stand to hear him breathe. My heart had become so bitter. I had invested so much—my love, my loyalty, my prayers—and I couldn’t understand how God was allowing him to get away with how he was treating me. I was torn between two worlds—loving him and hating him. I loved him because I saw who he could be, and I wanted us to be everything God said we would be. But I also hated him and wanted him to feel the pain he caused me. I wanted revenge.
And in that moment, God started wrestling with me. He reminded me of all the things He had forgiven me for—times I disobeyed, times I hurt others, times I fell short. But honestly, I didn’t want to hear it. I wasn’t trying to be convicted; I wanted justice. I was once the villain, but now I was the victim, and I felt entitled to my anger.
Yet God didn’t let me stay there. He said, “If you don’t forgive, I will turn you over to the tormentors.” (Matthew 18:34) That word hit me hard. I realized I was on the edge of losing my peace, my mind, and my purpose. The tormentors weren’t demons coming from the outside—they were the thoughts, the bitterness, the sleepless nights, and the replaying of every painful memory. God was showing me that unforgiveness was the open door.
He was trying to save me from destroying my whole house—from burning down what He was still willing to rebuild. I couldn’t turn to the left or to the right. I was walking a tight robe and my obedience became a matter of life and death and heaven or hell.
Every day, He drew me with cords of lovingkindness, covering me with His mercy. His love was the only thing standing between me and complete breakdown. His banner over me truly was love. I could feel Him holding back the floodgates of bitterness like He held back the waters of the Red Sea. The enemy wanted to drown me in resentment. He wanted me to believe that everything I had prayed for, labored for, cried for, sowed for, and fasted for was all in vain the day my ex-late husband walked out the door.
But God whispered, “Forgive him, not because he deserves it—but because you deserve peace.”
The Word says in Matthew 6:14-15, “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you forgive not others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
That verse became my lifeline. Forgiveness wasn’t about releasing my ex—it was about releasing myself. God was trying to deliver me from me.
Then He made me a promise that shifted everything: “You will never be the sacrifice on another man’s altar because of his disobedience.” Translation—some people didn’t obey God concerning you. They mishandled you. They rejected the assignment. But God said, “I have another route to get you to the same destination.”
That revelation healed me. What I thought was the end of everything was really just a divine detour. God wasn’t punishing me—He was protecting me.
I learned that revenge will never give you closure, but forgiveness will give you freedom. The same God who defended David, who restored Job, who redeemed Rahab, is the same God who will fight for you. Let Him handle the vengeance while you walk in victory.
So today, if you’re tempted to take revenge, remember—God sees. God knows. And God will repay. Your job is to forgive, heal, and move forward. Because the same hand that held back the waters for Israel is holding you now.
