Repairing the Breaches: Building Love on God’s Foundation
One of my favorite scriptures, Isaiah 58:12, says, “And they that shall be of thee shall build the old waste places: thou shalt raise up the foundations of many generations; and thou shalt be called, The repairer of the breach, The restorer of paths to dwell in.”
Lately, God has been calling me to look at what that means—not just in ministry or community—but in relationships and marriage. When Jada Edwards preached her message “Marriage on a Mission,” I was wrecked in the best way. She said when you want to build intimacy, you cheer your spouse on when they’re trying to love you, not because they’re perfect at it, but because they’re trying. You’re not inspecting their efforts; you’re acknowledging them. That hit me like a microphone drop.
She shared that her husband is a 9 on the gratitude scale, and she’s a negative 4. She said if she pushes hard and makes it to a 2, but misses the two biggest things he does, that’s when he has to build a bridge between the 9 and the 2. Because when it’s about inspection, intimacy dies—but when it’s about intention, love grows. That perspective opened my heart in ways I didn’t expect.
It reminded me of my previous marriage. My late ex-husband had started to pull away when I needed him most. I was carrying the weight of a newborn, another child, and the heaviness of my own healing. God was taking me through spiritual surgery, dealing with old wounds from my childhood and teaching me to become the mother I never had. It was painful, yet purposeful.
He didn’t understand what God was doing in me. His normal had been stability, a loving mom, and consistency. Mine had been rejection, survival, and emotional silence. While I was grieving what I never had, he was comparing me to the mother he did have. Instead of repairing the breaches in my heart, he became an inspector of my brokenness.
One day at work, I was sitting in a staff meeting at The Women’s Treatment Center, where mothers recovering from addiction lived with their children. The medical director said, “Let’s honor the women who made it downstairs this week for breakfast with their kids on time.” In that moment, something broke in me. I ran to the bathroom and cried uncontrollably. I said, “God, I’m not on drugs or alcohol, and I’m just as broken as they are.” I heard the Lord whisper, “I will honor you.”
That day, I realized God was rebuilding the breaches in me that my husband refused to touch. He was restoring the waste places left by generations of women who suffered silently. My mother was alive but emotionally unavailable. My grandmother endured abuse. My great-grandmother considered taking her life. But I decided the cycle stops here.
In marriage and relationships, repairing the breaches means seeing your partner through God’s eyes. It’s acknowledging effort over perfection. It’s using your words to build, not tear down. Proverbs 18:21 says, “Life and death are in the power of the tongue.” Every word you speak has the ability to heal or to wound.
Ask yourself—what areas is God calling you to rebuild in your spouse’s heart? What foundation from past generations is He asking you to raise up again? When you choose love, gratitude, and mercy over comparison, you are repairing the breach. You are restoring paths for generations to dwell in peace.
Your love is legacy.
Your grace is healing.
Your words are construction tools in the hands of God.
Be a builder. Be the repairer of the breach. 💛