The Incredibles: Learning to Be Both
The Incredibles is one of my favorite animated movies—not just because it’s fun or nostalgic, but because it’s full of revelation. It’s more than a kid’s movie; it’s a family movie, packed with lessons about purpose, balance, and identity. Bob and Helen Parr, known to the world as Mr. Incredible and Elastigirl, live ordinary lives on the surface, while secretly carrying the weight of extraordinary purpose. And truthfully, I see so many of us in them.
We are all superheroes in disguise—those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose. We were sent to this earth on assignment, to respond to a divine emergency. Before time began, before you were knit together in your mother’s womb, the Father already knew the crisis you’d be called to solve. You were sent as the answer. Yet here you are, clocking in at a 9-to-5 job, running a business, taking care of your family, and wondering, “Is this it? Is there more?” You sense the greatness inside of you, but the routines of everyday life sometimes make you feel hidden, unfulfilled, or misunderstood.
Sometimes you might feel like Bob Parr. He loved his family, but part of him resented that they seemed to hold him back from his dreams. I’ll never forget the day I asked my ex-late husband, “What if your calling is to be a great father and husband?” He looked at me and said, “I’m bigger than that.” He dreamed of being a famous musician—and in his pursuit of greatness, he missed the true greatness right in front of him.
Bob, you don’t have to choose between your family and your purpose. You can have both. You can love your family and save the world. The tension isn’t a punishment—it’s the process. I remember when I was younger in the Lord, receiving prophetic words about the great things God would do through me. I was on fire, ready to be on the frontlines for the Kingdom. But the Lord whispered something that changed everything: “If you’re not willing to lay your life down for your family first, you’ll never be ready to lay it down for My purposes.” That was how He gave me my “superpowers”—through surrender, not spotlight.
One of my favorite scenes in The Incredibles is their wedding day. Bob and Helen are literally saving the world, and she warns him not to be late. He insists he still has time. But he ends up late—classic Bob. When they finally marry, Helen lovingly but firmly tells him that if their marriage is going to work, he has to be more than Mr. Incredible. He can’t just be the hero to the world—he has to show up as the husband and father his family needs.
That scene still preaches to me. Because truthfully, many of us suffer from what’s called imposter syndrome. We perform well externally, but internally we battle feelings of inadequacy. We show up as “Mr. or Mrs. Incredible” to everyone else, but behind closed doors, we struggle. The world sees our strength, but we often feel weak and unsure of ourselves. Bob was Mr. Incredible to the world, but just Bob at home—and that imbalance nearly cost him everything.
To every “Bob” out there: you don’t have to stop being incredible to be a husband and father. You just need to learn how to be both. And to every “Helen”: you don’t have to stop being strong to love and submit; you just need to be flexible like Elastigirl. God will bring harmony when both are willing to grow, bend, and yield to His will.
Be encouraged. Fear not. It’s okay to be both—ordinary and extraordinary, hidden and heroic. You are still incredible.